Friday, June 29, 2012

Gorewad Monsters Insult Contest: The Winners

So, after a week of watching people tirelessly scour Google for the best insults that they could plagiarize (HA! #Trollhard), I have picked my winners. Based on criteria ranging from originality to just how much I liked them, selecting winners was difficult in some places... And easy in others.
I'll be running another contest in July, so start coming up with material!

Runners up:
Let's hear it for Great Cthulu, for his sheer mass of middle school lunchroom insultation. It was almost as if he had a first edition of SNAPS! by James Percelay sitting in front of him. Still, I admire his dedication and diligence, in regurgitating jokes that he heard during puberty, 40 years ago (#stilltrolling).
Next up, I want to give it up to Little Weirdos, for truly catching me off guard with his Pumpkin insult. Well done, you anthropomorphic Blue-Vein-Throbber.

First place prize, goes to the only insult that Google didn't cross reference me to, by Daniel Clein. For being the most original, and the most hilariouslyslack-jawed, you have scored yourself a full set of Gorewad Monsters, and of course, I will be sure to include a personal insult on the header card, special from me to you.

If the winners could email me their addresses, I'll get those to post on Monday.

I want to thank everybody for participating, well, everbody except for RJ. (#cantstoptrolling)

Gotta go kids...

It's been fun though, right?

-R

3 comments:

  1. And just now our internet starts working again. Don't bitch at me for missing out, I don't control the internet. Was hoping I'd make this in time, but fuck your deadlines, here's some for free to commemorate. Enjoy yourself.

    - Jimmy, last time we met you said my teeth looked like fingernails. Well, I just talked to my dentist. Bad news buddy: I'm gonna have to stop eating out your mother.
    - While we're on the subject of oral health, I wanted to give you a heads up, don't ever ask me to suck your dick. It's rude, and I already floss daily.
    - You're ugly and haven't gotten laid in years. And won't get laid again. Now stop crying and pick the termites out of your vagina...we're having polite company over.

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  2. Tom, that was perfect.
    You are still a slack jawed goofdick, with a head shaped like John Merrick's scrotum... But, I want to give you a free figure. Let me know what sculpt you like the best, you dirty, fuck-mouthed, survived abortion, and I will get a copy to you.

    -R

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