Batman: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

With Dark Knight Rises coming to theaters in July (It's just around the corner, holy shit!!), I thought it would be fun, to present our favorite Batman stories, our least favorites, and our favorite "What the fuck were they thinking?!" stories/moments.

Chime in, in the comments section, my minions... You never know when I'm going to surprise you with extras.

The Good: I am sure that there will be people disagreeing that this is the best (I think hands down, Batman: Year One is the greatest Batman story ever told, but bear with me...), but this is one of my favorites, so sit down, and put out that torch, and put down that pitchfork...


But Batman #666, by Grant Morrison, and one of those Kuberts (I kid, it was Andy Kubert), the story is set in the future, with Damian Wayne (current Robin) having donned the Mantle of the Bat. It's a stand-alone issue, with Morrison juggling implications of what happened since Bruce was Batman, with how Damian has dealt with being thrust in the role. As far as stand-alone stories are concerned, I'd be hard pressed to find one that has as much action and solid storytelling.


Runner up: Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso's "Broken City" story, from Batman. It's a hard-boiled detective story... Just go read it. You'll be glad you did.

The Bad: Frank Miller's DK2. All of it. From Miller's treatment of Dick Grayson, to his laughable portrayal of Bats, and his attempt to shoehorn in most of the JLA, regardless to how they fit in... It's Miller's artwork and storytelling at it's sloppiest, and really adds nothing to the Bat Family's mythos. It's poop. A whole lot of poop.

The Ugly: There was an issue of Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight, by Alan Grant and Kevin O'Neill, (one half of the team that gave us Marshal Law,) presenting a story chock full of WTF moments, starring Bat Mite. I believe this was Bat Mite's first appearance in modern comics, and he was presented as a hallucination of some street-level gangster named Overdog. If you're in the mood for the sheer ridiculous, check this one out.


Anyhow, I am very curious as to what the Minions of the Iron Toy Cult have to offer, in the way of opinions on this subject. Speak up, be heard.




For now, though, it's time to go.
It's been fun though, right?


-R

Gorewad Monsters Insult Contest: The Winners

So, after a week of watching people tirelessly scour Google for the best insults that they could plagiarize (HA! #Trollhard), I have picked my winners. Based on criteria ranging from originality to just how much I liked them, selecting winners was difficult in some places... And easy in others.
I'll be running another contest in July, so start coming up with material!

Runners up:
Let's hear it for Great Cthulu, for his sheer mass of middle school lunchroom insultation. It was almost as if he had a first edition of SNAPS! by James Percelay sitting in front of him. Still, I admire his dedication and diligence, in regurgitating jokes that he heard during puberty, 40 years ago (#stilltrolling).
Next up, I want to give it up to Little Weirdos, for truly catching me off guard with his Pumpkin insult. Well done, you anthropomorphic Blue-Vein-Throbber.

First place prize, goes to the only insult that Google didn't cross reference me to, by Daniel Clein. For being the most original, and the most hilariouslyslack-jawed, you have scored yourself a full set of Gorewad Monsters, and of course, I will be sure to include a personal insult on the header card, special from me to you.

If the winners could email me their addresses, I'll get those to post on Monday.

I want to thank everybody for participating, well, everbody except for RJ. (#cantstoptrolling)

Gotta go kids...

It's been fun though, right?

-R

Update, Suckas

Brief update, today... First, a reminder that the winner of the Insult Contest will be picked on Friday, so get your digs in, quick, you jive-ass M.F.ers.

Second, go to The Amazing Zectron, and check out what Octavio is doing over there. Maybe, we'll get lucky, and Octavio will stop being such a damned welfare-mother, and enable the following feature, so we can actually keep up with his artistic endeavors. He's a pretty talented dude, even if he's slower than Methuselah. (<3) Dave, at Amerikaiju posted up on Octavio's most recent offerings, too... So check out both blogs, before I have you fisted by angry babboons.

Lastly, I'm going to start taking limited orders on Gorewads, soon. Honestly, I am not real sure what to expect from you guys, so if you're interested, give me a heads up, and I will try to accomodate.
We will not be taking requests for specific colors, and they'll be packed at random... But we certainly encourage trading amongst each other. We're going to keep making them in whatever colors Eric is feeling like that day, so we've got no idea what the "Rarity" of each of the colors is going to be. We're leaving that, to you guys.

Any other questions about the line? Just post them in the comments, and I will answer then ASAP.

Time to go...

It's been fun though, right?

-R

Gorewad Monsters: The Contest!

Alright gang, the gimmick is simple: I'm posing a challenge, and the winner gets one pack of Gorewads shipped to their front door, completely on my dime. Each Gorewad Monsters pack includes all three sculpts, with each sculpt's color being randomly selected. Also, as an added bonus, I will add a free insult/autograph on the header card, to make the Gorewad experience complete.

The Heist: Insult Contest.

I want to lay a few ground rules, because I don't want this to degenerate into some half-witted, ephitet swapping contest.
Rule #1: No slurs. None. Not race, ethnicity, creed, sexual orientation... Be more creative than that bullshit. Otherwise, you're going to get called out on being a sperm-bank reject, and you're definitely not going to win the contest.

Rule #2: No repeating insults. If somebody posts an insult, and you post one that is too similar, I'm going to ignore it, as well as anything else you have to say.

Rule #3: Swearing a ton doesn't necessarily make for the best insults. It's not banned, but if you spend more time dropping Eff Bombs than actually insulting the rest of the folks on here, then you're missing the point of the exercise.

Rule #4: Fuck you. (See what I did there?)

Anyways, post your insults in the comment section on this blog-post. Any insults posted on other posts, don't count. There is no limit to how many insults you can post, and you may absolutely feel free to turn on each other.

I'll pick my favorite on Friday, and we'll go from there.

Make me proud, minions of the rabid toy cult.

-R

Gorewad Monsters: Ready for Action!!

The Gorewad Monsters are here!

 Thanks to insomnia, idle hands, and the casting skills of Eric Nilla (You've gotta start your own blog, homie!), the Gorewads have finally landed! There are three different sculpts, and the colors are going to be done at random.

 (HippoROTamus, Diet Hell Turtle, Hammerguts)

 (Back view)

 Look at these little buggers! Eric really did a hell of a job casting these up. Anyways, now that I am done gushing about the man-behind-the-rubber, I should probably spill the 411 on these little bastards...

They'll be bagged and carded, each bag containing a random color, with each character being represented. Each pack will be available for $12 (plus shipping, when applicable), which is about as low as we could go, to cover the cost of materials. The Gorewads are cast in rubber, not resin, so you should be able to throw them against the wall, and get a respectable bounce-back. I know I'll be bouncing mine all over the damn place. Believe it.

By tomorrow, I should have a contest up, with one member (haha, "member") winning a free pack of the Gorewad experience, with a free insult written and signed on the header card by yours truly. If you follow the blog, and you're not a member, shame on you. Join up, because only members (*snort*) are eligible.

For now, I have to go...
It's been fun though, right?

-R

"I hope he gets effed by a cactus"

Jerry Sandusky, found guilty. Music to my ears. I don't even give a shit about college football (To be honest, I think it's creepy that a bunch of grown men are so interested in the lives of a bunch of kids that are barely out of high school, but I digress), but I hope they find everybody that was involved with covering this pervert's tracks, and drop them into an open sewer made out of cancer and razorblades. You just don't fuck with kids.

Anyhow...

I wanted to to get to a few other pieces of business.

1) Check out www.LittleRubberGuys.com. It's a great resource for re-finding your childhood, recapturing your childhood, and if none of that is good enough for you? Eric Nilla and I are running a contest, with the winner making off with two free advanced copies of Universe of Violence figures. Want free Universe of Violence figures? Gotta go to LRG.

2) Annie at Find Chaos, wrote up a review on my blog. She said nicer things about this blog, than I sure would have. Annie's got a pretty good thing going over there at Find Chaos, namely her comic (that has a fairly respectable follow, by the way...) LOOK HERE.

Those are my plugs from now. Hopefully, I'll have some more pics of UoV and Gorewad figures soon... I'm still trying to think of a contest for my members/followers, whatever... All eight of you. If you read, and haven't joined, shame on you. Join now, you'll have a chance to win some free shit later.

Gotta go.
It's been fun though, right?

-R

Gorewad Monsters: First Test Pull

Remember how I told you things were going to start popping? Well, here you go!

 This is the first test casting of the first wave of Gorewad Monster figures. Hell Turtle, HippoROTamus, and Hammerguts, for your viewing pleasure. I'll post a contest next week, to get some of these into one lucky toyfreak's grubby mitts. Exciting times, at Iron Heights!

-R

Universe of Violence

Eric Nilla blew our cover on the LRG forum, so, may as well throw it out there now...

This is the super-secret project that I have alluded to many times in the past, and we're getting damn close to making them available. These are just the beginning, as the Universe of Violence line will be continually expanding.

Here's your first taste, guys. Don't say I never gave ya nothin'.

As we get a little closer to the drop date, I'll be posting more on these guys, along with our intentions for the line. We've got a few secret surprises to throw in as well, so stay tuned.

Time to go...

It's been fun, though, right?

-R

Handmade American Custom Kaiju (H.A.C.K.) Review

 I am reviewing Amerikaiju's first wave of "Handmade American Custom Kaiju" or "H.A.C.K." figures. David Lee, from Amerikaiju, hand sculpts all of his pieces, and also handles the casting chores.
When he told me that he was sending me a set of his figures, I was elated! Another like-minded, mono-mini loving, toy enthusiast! And, I'll be damned, if David Lee isn't just that.

I told him that I would write a review of his toys, and I am about to get into the meat and potatoes of that review, but first, I just want to say that I wish more toy producing hobbyists/aspiring toy makers handled themselves with as much class as David and Amerikaiju do. It is my pleasure, to be acquainted, sir.

Now, first off, I'm not going to spend any time talking about the packaging. #1, Chad over at University of M.U.S.C.L.E. (http://blog.uofmuscle.com/) already made the most constructive criticism about the logo/layout, and #2, I really don't care about that. I'm a toy guy. I'm going to talk about toys.
Here we go...

 The first figure, is Mas Mano, and Chad already did the heavy lifting on the translation, so I am just going to talk about how much I love this sculpt. The detail work on the knuckles, and the choice to use subtle lines on the palm, really give this piece a professional quality. The legs-made-from-fingers gimmick is cute, but honestly, if they were just nebulous legs, I think the figure would be equally as strong. I'd love to see David come back to this figure, after a few more outings, and do an older, more weathered take on it. This figure is fantastic, and easily my favorite out of the entire first wave's offerings.

 I mean, come on... Look at that cute little ass... What's not to love?

 The next figure, is Mag Malicious. This figure is a lot of fun, and has a high playability factor. However, this piece doesn't show the same artistic strength, as his handy counterpart. Mag comes off a little less strong... but what is very apparent, due to the visibility of some of his "flaws", is David's skill in casting. I can see where he may have missed a seam or two, when adding to the armature. That tells me, that his mold was nice and tight, and that while his sculpt on this piece isn't his finest work... The casting on it is incredible. I hope to also see him revisit this piece as well,  in the future.

 The top of his head, is a freaking VOLCANO. Imagine how fun this guy will be, chokeslamming your  kid's favorite Squinkies.

 I saved this guy for last.
Cysquatch.
This is another example of Dave's masterful casting technique, exposing a few issues. This piece towers over the others, at almost 2.5", and seems to be missing the unique charm of the other figures. The hands bother me a lot (Sorry David!), mainly because of the presence of toes on the figure's feet. The hands are more like Battle Beast hands, where there is not much definition, and an implication that they are supposed to hold something... But then the feet have fully rendered toes. Little logical hiccups like that drive me crazy, though, so maybe you shouldn't mind me.

 The line work on the fur seems a little rushed. I will say this, though: The proportions of Cysquatch are fairly even. His shoulders are square with his hips, and he stands with a good implied skeletal symmetry. I think this piece is just missing the attention to detail, that make the other pieces so much fun... Or the subtlety that makes Mas Mano an instant charmer.

Speaking of that lovable little scamp:

 What's that he's holding? Amerikaiju includes accessories?! NOBODY, to my knowledge, releases mono-minis, with accessories. The boom-box accessory has become an instant favorite of mine. I have spent stupid amounts of time, trying to fit that damned boom-box onto all of my favorite mono-minis. I think I have gone over my quota, on using the word "Charm" in this review, but it's exactly things like Mas Mano and the boom-box, that has me on my toes, waiting for what comes next. Oh, and I have seen what comes next... David gave me a sneak peek at his next sculpt... And, it is fantastic.

The whole set is made from a nice, durable-yet-very-flexible rubber. It reminds me most, of the consistency of "Monster in my Pocket" figures, from the 1990's. Between the quality of the materials he offers, the level of skill that he displays in casting, and the progression of sculpting skill that I have been fortunate to witness... Not to mention, the fact that he's offering one hell of a value for what he is offering... David at Amerikaiju has piqued my interest, and I'm signing up for the ride.
Check him out, at http://amerikaiju.blogspot.com/, and buy his toys... Or, I'll visit your dreams, and make you chew on your own uvula.

Here's a size comparison, next to some other colored mono-minis, for your enjoyment....
which brings me to my last point: David, you should really cast up a few batches of purple Mas Manos.  I'll bet the M.U.S.C.L.E. heads would go apeshit.

Time to go....
It's been fun, though, right?

-R

A Few Things

So, here's a little taste of the next few things...

I wanted to try a few different things, because I feel that mini figures are an art form that has sort of stagnated as of late. I'll write a love post sometime, to highlight my favorite mini figures... But for right now, I want to try some things that haven't been beaten to death.

 Not exactly breaking new ground, with the new Gorewad figure, but I'm pretty determined to do a respectable number of gross-out pieces, in the spirit of recapturing our love of old Garbage Pail Kids, Dinosaurs Attack, EC Comics, and the list goes on. I feel like everything out there now, has been sterilized to the point where a lot of toys are devoid of fun. To hell with that, I'm bringing blood and guts back! <3

 Demonic, alien/reptile tadpoles, anybody? The challenge was to make a tadpole monster. WTF did you think was going to happen?

 Some super minis that are going to be a lot of fun, when they are finished. The red M.U.S.C.L.E. is there for size comparison... These buggers are going to be tiny.

 This guy's going to wind up being a lot of fun. Just wait.

And, my little buddy, Petra. R.I.P.

I have a toy review to write tonight, and will do it in a separate post... Things are going to be popping up, as a lot of things I have been working on, are coming to fruition... And I'm going to start nagging Eric Nilla, until I can start talking openly about our project. Those figures are a lot of fun.

-R

Brief Update

So, I have sent off all of my finished sculpts to their respective new homes, and started a new batch of minis. I have a couple of M.U.S.C.L.E. scale sculpts, but most of the new stuff is going to be 1.25" or under. Working super tiny IS a pain in the ass, but it's really cool to see people's reactions to the finished pieces. I don't have anything far enough along to share, but the moment I do,  I'll share some pics.

And, it'll be a short period of time, before I can share pics of some of the production pieces, so there is that to look forward to, as well. I'm still trying to cook up a contest, to have some fun and to get people toys.  Keep watching. The contest will probably involve dick and fart jokes, along with blood and guts, so get ready.

In the meantime, check out one of my colleagues' blog at http://amerikaiju.blogspot.com/. I'll be doing a review, very soon, of his first wave offerings.

Keep it real, kids.

-R

The fact that Candlejack has become a meme, really pisses m